Oh how the tables are turned

I don't know why I'm writing this. Probably just because I thought it was so darn cute.

When Bryant and I first started talking about trying to have a baby, he was a little hesitant. We had originally planned on waiting at least 3 years before we wanted kids, but a little after our first year of marriage, I felt like It was something we should do. I don't know why, maybe it was because all of my friends were having babies, maybe it was something internal and maternal that was pushing me, but I felt that I needed and wanted to be a mom.

Bryant had his reasons to be hesitant:

-We were still in school

-We were both working and not in a financial position for me to stay home

-We weren't in a financial position period

-We live in a 1 bedroom studio apartment

-There was still a lot of things we wanted to do that would be easier to accomplish without a baby in tow

But I stood firm in what I wanted, and after many (I repeat, many...) discussions, we finally agreed.

Lets try to have a baby.

I mean, most people try for months right? It would be a while before we got pregnant right?

Wrong. We got pregnant super fast.

So nine months later, Savannah arrived! And we've been doing just fine. Being a Mom is so much more amazing and rewarding than I have ever dreamed! It's also about as tough as I thought it would be. 

Then I have started to notice, those friends of mine who were getting pregnant left and right about the same time we were, are already popping out 2nd babies.

What?!

People are having babies 14-18 months apart most of the time, and I look at them and think "there is no way I could have another baby by the time Savannah turns a 18 months old, I'd have to get pregnant right now and I couldn't handle that. Not with how active she is. Plus, I like being able to devote all of my attention to her, to spend some one-on-one time with her that she probably won't get much of ever again after another baby (I should know, I'm an oldest child...).

I thought Bryant was on the same page as me. I thought we were content with our little teeny family of three. Me, him, and baby. 

Until tonight.

We went out to dinner with some extended family and my cousin and his wife and kids were there and they just welcomed a new baby into the world 3 weeks ago. I got a chance to hold him for a bit and I sat there in amazement at how small he was. He was born a pound and 3 inches bigger than Savannah was and I can't picture her ever being that tiny! As I sat there with him quietly sleeping in my arms, then watching as my other cousins were passing Savannah around, who was happily pulling hair, giving kisses and squealing in delight I thought "No, I couldn't do this with two babies. I could do it with a toddler and a baby... maybe..." when suddenly, Bryant looked me in the eyes and quietly said "I want another baby".

pffff, ha, right! 

But then he said "no, I'm being serious. I really want to start trying to have another baby."

Bryant had briefly mentioned this earlier in the day to his brother and I completely thought he was saying it to be funny. But now I realized he was serious.

"But why in the world would you want another one right now? It was hard for me to convince you to have Savannah. Besides, we are still in school, we both work, we live in my parent's one-bedroom studio basement apartment!" I said in bewilderment

"Those are the same reasons I didn't want to have a baby before, but none of that matters, we could do it. I want to have another one as soon as we can." He said.

What happened? First, I was the one who wanted to have a baby and he didn't, and now, he's the one who wants a baby and I don't.

Bryant, you are so cute and sweet. But I think we should at least get Savannah potty-trained, me done with school (I would not go to school with two little babies. I just couldn't make it work, besides, I'm so close.) and lets get into a bigger place. Even if it's just a 2 bedroom apartment.

I think we will wait...