My shoulder hurts...

It's only Wednesday, and this week has already done me in.

Remember when I said that Savannah has developed a side of sass, the likes of which had never been seen before? 

Well yeah, and it's exhausting. 

On top of that, both my kids have gotten into weird sleep patterns, which is doing a number on me. 

The other night, Savannah woke up at 5am crying, which she occasionally does. I think it's part nightmares, and part being scared of the dark. If I forget to leave the bathroom light on across the hall, and she wakes up, it really scares her. And it takes a while to calm her down. Bryant got up with her and held her until she fell back asleep around 5:30. Then Deagan woke up, ready to eat, so I got up with him and fed him until he fell back asleep at 6. Then at 6:45, Savannah woke up again, this time yelling "Mooooooommmmm! Daaaaaddddyyyy! I NEED my MM's!"

So you better believe we got up and gave her a measuring cup full of M&Ms and sat her on the couch with some cartoons. We tried to go back to bed, but she kept coming in and waking us up. Then Deagan was up again. So we gave-in and got up for the day. Might I add, our kids usually get up around 10am, and Tuesdays are Bryant's day off, so we had stayed up waaaay too late watching a really stupid movie, banking on the belief that we would get to sleep it? Yeah we had about 4 hours total.

But it wasn't just that night. Deagan usually only gets up once to eat, but he's been getting up 3, 4, 5 times a night this past week and half-heartedly eating. Like, he eats for about 2 minutes, then falls asleep, then 20 minutes later, he's fussing again.

Ugh.

I was starting to get grouchy from my lack of sleep. I'm not a nice person if I don't sleep (or eat, but that's a whole other level of mean...) And I was getting a little overwhelmed. A couple of nights ago, I desperately needed to get out of my house so I left Bryant with the kids and I hopped in my car. I wound up at my parents house. I wasn't even planning on going there, it just happened. My dad offered to go with me to the gas station to buy a coke and then we went and got Strawberry shakes. Then we went back to their house and I watched an episode of Hell On Wheels with them. It was nice to talk to them and to not have a 2 year old climbing all over me, and a 2 month old spitting up and peeing on me for a bit.

I came home feeling much better and slightly recharged. But that doesn't change the fact that I haven't had a full-nights sleep in 8 weeks. I can't even sneak in a nap during the day, because one of the kids is always awake. 

This morning, I got up at 4 with DJ, and for the next 2 hours, he did his I-cant-decide-if-i-want-to-sleep-or-eat thing. At 6 am, Bryant woke up and asked if everything was ok. I snapped at him saying that no, everything wasn't ok because I haven't slept in weeks, thankyouverymuch..

 He quietly got up, grabbed Deagan and said he would go get him a bottle. I instantly fell back asleep. When I woke up, it was 10:00 and Bryant was gone, and DJ wasn't in his bassinet. When I went out into the living room, there was Deagan sound asleep and strapped into his swing, and a blanket and pillows were on the couch, with a half-drank bottle on the coffee table. Evidence that Bryant had slept out there with Deagan for the 2 hours before he had to get up for work, which had given me 4 solid hours of uninterrupted sleep.

He's a good man, that one. 

I am such a pill when I am tired. And the truth is, I love having two kids, I really really do, but I'm not handling it as well as I thought I would. It's become a guessing game of, which screaming kid do I deal with first? Why do I have to be lassoed with a rope

by Savannah when I'm in the middle of feeding the baby? How is it 4:00 and I haven't even been able to have 30 seconds to eat something? How long do I have in the shower before Deagan starts crying, and Savannah starts throwing a fit that I won't let her get in with me? Is it even worth showering today? Having two kids is so much harder than only having one. But, as I've been told, it gets a lot easier after 3. Lets hope!

 I can tell the stress is wearing on me. I carry a lot of my stress in my neck and shoulders, and my right shoulder is killing me these last few days. Not to mention that my stress-eating diet consists almost solely of cookie dough, pizza and tacos. 

But i'm trying to be patient. I keep telling myself that eventually we will get on a schedule. That eventually, Deagan will sleep through the night. That eventually these crazed, post-baby hormone induced bouts of stress and frustration will lessen. 

But I really am so grateful for my kids. I hope they can be patient with me because lets face it, I've never been a mom of 2 kids before now. I'm still learning.

And mommy just really, really needs a nap.

Just Killing Some Time

We are headed to a BBQ tonight with some family friends. I've got everything ready to go, the kids are ready to go, DJ is asleep and Savy is watching Wreck-It-Ralph for goodness knows how many times now. Also, I put on makeup. And not just some foundation and a sorry attempt at some mascara, I mean, I did all my makeup. Feeling pretty proud about that. Even if it was 5:30 in the afternoon when I did it.

I'm just waiting on Bryant.

He always says he will be home at 5, and he's always home at 6:30 or 7. There are 3 things in life that are certain: death, taxes, and the fact that Bryant is never, ever home when he says he will be. Silly boy. And no, I'm not complaining, I just think it's funny.

Anyways, I guess I'm just trying to kill some time. Getting a few thoughts out there into the blogging universe.

Thought #1: I feel like my blog needs an updated look. Most blogs I enjoy reading have very simple, clean looks to them and mine does not. I partly want to do this because I kind of want to market my blog a little more. See if I can gain a few more readers. This blog isn't anything too special, but Its special to me and I want to see how far I can take my little slice of the internet. So, feel free to share, pin, tweet, whatever, this blog if ya want.

Thought #2: In addition to feeling the need to update the look of my blog, I equally feel the need to update my home. I have a lot of projects I want to get going on. Most importantly, I need to get both of the kid's rooms pained and organized. I need to finish my dresser, and re-paint my kitchen stools. I have several bare walls that need things to go on them. And I need a new bedside lamp. This may be the most pressing item and it's at the top of my priority list. Remember that one time when I won an entire living room set from RC Willey? Well that came with 2 lamps, 1 of which I use on the nightstand. The problem is, the switch to turn it off is waaaay up there, which is a pain in the neck to turn off when I'm laying in bed, and I'm far too lazy to want to sit up to turn it off. So I'm on the search for a smaller, more lazy-Brooke friendly lamp.

Thought #3: I realized today that I start school at the end of next month. I don't want to go, I don't want to go, I don't want to go... but I will. Because education is important.

Thought #4: I want a nice camera. But I don't know the first thing about using one. So camera-phone it is until I learn. 

Aaaaaannnnd that's about it. 

Stay in school kids.

A Wild Soul

I love the terrific twos, and I hate the terrible twos.

I love Savannah at this stage in her life. In fact, I think It's my favorite so far (but I say that about every age that she has been...)

She is wild.

And she's feisty.

Whoa Nelly has she gotten feisty! 

She's always had an independent spirit. Always.  But she has developed a side of sass, the likes of which have never been seen before (ok, it's not that bad...) She has perfected the art of the temper tantrum, and the fit, and the melt down.

But I'm secretly loving it.

I love it because she has started coming up with excuses for why she does, or doesn't want something. Like "No mommy! I'm too little to take a nap!"

Or, "I can't eat because I need my Christmas card!"

Or, "I can't clean up because my hair is growing!"

 ^Throwing a fit while out to dinner. Arms folded, foot stamping, huffing and puffing, the works!^

It's frustrating that she pushes back, but at the same time that I'm threatening a time out, I'm laughing inside. Where does she come up with this stuff?

I also love 2 because this is the age of developing imagination. She's very into all things pirates, Peter Pan, Tinkerbell, and rocket ships. Tonight as we were out on our walk, we saw an airplane and the entire rest of the walk, she was saying that Mr. Smee was riding Big Jet and they were after us. (For all you adults who actually watch adult TV shows, Mr. Smee is from Peter Pan, and Big Jet is the "bad guy" from little Einsteins, and he is, in fact, a jet... Just in case you were confused.) (Also, little Einsteins is a kids show about art and music. Just to further clarify...)

Her most recent obsession is listening to Peter Pan on the record player. My Grandparents had a whole bunch of Disney stories on vinyl, and I loved listening to them. And after my grandpa passed away, I got all those old records. So it's been so unbelievably fun to pull those out again and listen to them with my daughter. I have good memories of sitting on their brown, floral couch listening to them, and now I'm making memories of seeing my daughter sit on the arm of our couch, intently listening and yelling "Oh no! The pirates! Peter Pan fly away!"

 ^A wrestling match broke out between my brothers in my living room today, and with a mad fury twinkling in her eye, she dove right in.^

I love her feisty, wild, funny and sweet little personality.

Stay 2 years old forever, Ok kiddo?

(And proud mama moment here: She has not had a bottle in 3 days! She's been able to drink out of a cup for over a year, but her bottle was her vice. It's been a tough 3 days, but I think we are bottle-free!)

Mt. Shasta Part 5

Mount Shasta trip part 5: The exciting conclusion to our trip in which we bless Deagan, return to the lake, get stuck in traffic because of brush fires, and I get homesick 5 miles outside of Mt. Shasta.  

Well, It took me forever, but I'm finally finishing up writing about our last day in California. 

On Sunday, we were able to bless Deagan. I was sad that my dad and brothers couldn't be there to be in the circle, but I was grateful for my Brother-in -laws Tyler and Jacob, my father-in-law Ed, and Bryant's old bishop Dan Taylor were there. I hope that Deagan will always look up to these men, and the men in my family as good examples throughout his life. He is very blessed to have such great and amazing people in his life. 

 ^My handsome boy in his blessing outfit!^

I can't say enough good things about Bryant's home ward. Really, I love everyone there, and I could feel the spirit there so strongly. Everyone is so welcoming and loving and accepting of you. I feel as if I know more people in that ward than I do in my own ward that I've been in for 18 years. Bryant and I sat outside for a bit between classes and we talked about how amazing this ward is, and how badly we wished we could go there every Sunday. Not to mention the building itself is beautiful. I hope we are back to visit again soon!

That afternoon, Jacob, Sally, their kids and Tyler went back to Sacramento, but not before we got some family photos.

^Grandma and Grandpa with all their grandkids! Sorry these are so dark.^

 We enjoyed one last night in Mt. Shasta by going back to Lake Siskyou for a walk to the new bridge. 

The next day, we took our time packing up and headed out mid-morning. It's always sad when we leave. As soon as we were out of town, I was ready to turn back and stay the rest of the summer (or forever...) Is it normal to feel homesick for a place you've never even lived? Because I was. The first few hours of our drive was spent talking about future plans and we made goals to someday move to Mt. Shasta. It's where we both feel we want to be. We know it may be a long time, and we will go wherever the jobs are (and I wouldn't mind doing a stint in San Diego or something if the opportunity arises) but Mt. Shasta is the ultimate goal.

Our drive home went about as smoothly as our drive to California. Both kids were great the whole way, except for a brief moment when they both decided to scream at the top of their lungs, just as the highway was shut down because of several brush fires. Deagan was hungry, and Savannah was throwing a fit because the sun was in her eyes, and she didn't want her sunglasses, she wanted Bryant's, but then his didn't fit so... you know... terrible twos and all...

Just as I had just about had it with screaming kids, the gas light came on. Of all things the gas light comes on while we are stuck at a dead stop in the middle of nowhere Nevada, while it's 100+ degrees out and I have a hungry newborn, and a pissed-off 2 year old. That's when we realized that people were driving up the shoulder and turning onto a cut-off that went to the opposite side of the highway. We knew there was a gas station about a mile back, so we followed suit. We asked a highway patrolman how long they thought the highway would be shut down, and he told us 45 minutes to an hour. So we headed on back to the gas station, fed Deagan, and let Savannah stretch her legs. After about 45 minutes, we got back on the highway. It was still stopped, but after about 10 minutes, it opened back up!

We had a few more set-backs thanks to several construction zones. Want to know what's worse than going 55 MPH on a one-lane construction zone? Getting stuck behind about a bazillion semis going 5 MPH through a one-lane construction zone... Those areas alone set us back about 3 hours. So needless to say, we ended up driving through the night again. We did pretty well, we both took turns napping or driving. The only time we both started to get drowsy was about the time we hit Tooele, which is too close to be worth stopping for the night. We were listening to a book on tape, and I started to zone. I didn't want to sleep, because I wanted to be awake to keep Bryant awake. So I shut the radio off, and made him answer about a million questions. And we began to plan our next trip to Disneyland (want to keep me talking? Ask me about all my favorite things at Disneyland, I'll chat your ear off AND keep you awake!) We both got a 2nd wind and made it home! Unfortunately, both our kids woke up at 5am... 

 We eventually all crashed in our bed a few hours later...

Well, Mt. Shasta you were good to us, and you are beautiful as always. I will miss you and I will miss you Ed and Robyn! Thank you for letting us take up your week!

Mt Shasta Part 4

Mt. Shasta Part 4: In which we shop, eat, and my little pirate swims at the lake.

Ok, I promise, this is the 2nd to last post about our trip!

So Friday, we spent the day back at the street fair. Now that the main street wasn't congested with runners and a parade, they had more booths open to shop around. 

 ^The kids in the jewelry shop owned by a family in Bryant's home ward. I have a Mt. Shasta necklace and earrings that my in-laws gave me, and I have earrings that are Savannah's birthstone that Bryant gave me for Christmas. All of which came from this shop!^

^Out shopping after grabbing some pizza from Say Cheese^

Saturday, Bryant's grandma had to go home. I was really sad to see her leave, I love spending time with her. One of these days, I'd like to go visit her at her ranch near Sacramento.

That afternoon, we all headed down to Lake Siskyou to do some swimming!

 

^Last summer, Savannah was always a little scared of the swimming pool. She liked the water, but would cling onto me or Bryant for dear life. I thought she'd be scared of the lake, but she loved it!^ 

 

^My cute little nephew! He fell completely in the water, head over heels and came up without a single tear! What a trooper! Also, I totally got it on video. AFV anyone?^

 ^I thought the water would be freezing, but it was the perfect temperature! I wish I could have gone swimming, but doctors orders were no swimming (especially in a lake) until 6 weeks after having a baby.^

 

^Robyn snuggled Deagan, and I relaxed with my toes in the water while watching Savannah swim. If it wasn't so hot and if it hadn't started to get crowded, I could have sat there all day!^

 ^Snack time with my Tinkerbell^

^Savannah with her cousin and uncle building sand castles^

^I love this view.^

 

^Let this kind of gross photo of my overly-large feet and freakishly long toes serve as a warning to all: DON'T put sunscreen on only half your feet and entirely forget your toes. Stupid, stupid, stupid mistake guys...^

Once we got home and put the kids down for a nap, Bryant and I took Ed's Harley out to run to the store, and then took it for a short cruise along some back roads (well let's face it, pretty much every road in that town in a back road.) The Harley is SO much more comfortable to ride on the back of than Bryant's Marauder!

That night, Bryant wanted to make Alfredo from scratch for everyone, and Ed cooked some chicken for dinner.

^My niece holding Deagan^

^The kids sat here the entire time we were getting dinner ready. But as soon as we brought it out and dished it up, they ran off to play. I think Mason actually ended up eating the girl's food for them.^

 ^And I made this patriotic fruit pizza for dessert. Thank you pinterest! (And before anyone throws a fit, I know the flag doesn't have a blue border. I just had a lot of leftover blueberries mmmmk?)

After dinner, we did 'smores and sparklers. Savannah was not nearly as interested in either the 'smores or the sparklers as I thought she would be. 

^Ok, I SWEAR these sparklers are different than the ones you usually see people use. But Bryant doesn't believe me. Anyone want to back me up here? Don't these look totally different than regular sparklers?^

Alrighty then! Look for Part 5 soon! Deagan's blessing and another trip to the lake!

Mt. Shasta Part 3

Mount Shasta Part 3: In which we celebrated Independence Day, and I walked past belly dancers, a guy playing the accordion, a Zumba group, and some guy playing the didgeridoo.

Alright! Part 3!

So Wednesday, Bryant and I left the kids with Bryant's parents while we went downtown to shop, wander around and grab some hamburgers. Would you believe it, the burger joint we went to had fry sauce?!? I thought that was a uniquely Utah thing, but maybe people are finally catching on to how amazing it is in other states.

We hit up an antique shop, and visited some other stores. It's not a very big main street, but it was busy with people setting up for the 5 mile race and all the street fair booths for the next day. 

That evening, Bryant and I took Savannah to see Monsters University. It was cute, and she really liked it. 

The next day was Independence Day. Mt. Shasta does a big 5 mile race, or people can do the 2 mile walk. Bryant's brother Tyler ran in the race, and the rout goes right in front of my in-laws house, so we got to stand out there and watch for him. Their house was also the first water station, so we helped fill up cups with the hose and hand them out to the runners. Once it slowed down, we decided to walk to town, which is the back half of the 2 mile walk. We started a little while after most of the walkers were already done, but it was fun to walk down there are see everyone having a good time. All along the rout, there were booths with performers playing music, singing, belly dancing, things like that. And then there were a lot of tables where local restaurants were passing out samples of their food. It was probably a good thing I wasn't in the race, because I would have just stopped and eaten to my hearts content, then showed up at the finish line fat and in last place. 

 ^ A view of Mt. Shasta from our walk into town^

 ^Black Butte. When we drove past this on the way to the Redwoods, Savannah yelled "Look! It's a volcano!"^

We got to the main street just as they were announcing the winners from the race. We met up with Bryant's dad and brother, and we had fun wandering around all the booths, and talking to friends. We decided not to stay for the parade because it was really hot, really crowded, and the kids were wearing down. Bryant's parents drove the kids back home, and Bryant and I decided to walk back. 

^Savannah with her Grandpa out shopping^

That afternoon, Bryant's brother, his wife and 2 kids arrived, and a little while later, his Grandma Donna arrived. It's so fun having everyone there! We wish Chantel could have been there too. We had a huge dinner out on the patio and I took a quick nap with the kids that evening.

^My little miss America^

Cousins! They are ages 3, 2, 1 and Deagan is a newborn. Your turn again Sally ;-)

Later that evening, we all drove out to the golf course to watch the fireworks. Savannah was barely able to stay awake, and kept trying to cover herself up on the blanket and sleep. Once the fireworks started, Donna was holding her, and about a minute into them, she was completely asleep, which was weird because it was still pretty early for her to be sleeping (I know it's terrible, but her bedtime is anywhere between 10pm and midnight, so 9:00 seemed too early) I guess she had just played too hard with her cousins all day!

^The girls with their Grandmas! Donna was such a trooper to have 3 crazy toddlers wrestling her before the fireworks started!^

 

^This dress drove me crazy because the sleeves kept falling down. But it was pretty darn cute.^

 ^Out like a light!^

 ^Deagan was a little fussy the whole time we were on the golf course. I think it was because it was a bit windy and that was bugging him.^

I love watching the fireworks in Mt. Shasta. Here in Utah, everyone goes out onto the lawn with their families, and thats it. In Mt. Shasta, everyone knows each other so everyone is wandering around, making conversation with everyone else. They really have a great community out there. I spent the hour or so before the fireworks talking to the Taylor family (wish you were there Emma!). They are the nicest people and I'm glad to have become their friend over the years! I guess that's the other thing I love about Mt. Shasta, I feel like I have so many friends there, and I've never even lived there!

Alright, look for part 4 soon! (Yes, there is still more! Maybe even enough for a part 5!)

Read part 1 HERE

Read part 2 HERE