At the finish line

Well, here we are. At the very last few hours before we become a family of 4!

I feel like I've been standing at this finish line for 3 weeks, just waiting for the ok to cross. And tomorrow may finally be that day!

I got the call I've been waiting for all weekend from the hospital. I was expecting them to give me a specific time to come in for my induction. I was really hoping they would have me come in bright and early, so that I would have him by the afternoon, or have me come in late at night so I could sleep during most of it. 

But instead, they told me that I'm on a list of "on call" patients. And one of my friends mentioned that she was 1st on the list with her baby and didn't get in for 2 days. When I heard that, I was devastated. I kind of had an anxiety attack/emotional meltdown. I have been looking forward to tomorrow for the last week and a half, and the possibility that I may have to wait another day or two threw me for a loop. 

Bryant tried to comfort me, and I told him to leave me alone and give me a few minutes. After I had settled down, we went for a drive and grabbed a bite to eat, just the 2 of us. We talked over some more baby names, we are still not 100% sure on one. And he told me not to worry. That I've made it this far, and our son will be here when he is meant to be here, and I felt a lot better.

Afterwords, I called my parents and asked them to come over. I had my dad and Bryant give me another blessing. I'm really feeling a lot better now. I'm still a little stressed about the possibility that my induction may not happen tomorrow, but I am trying to remember that there is a bigger plan out there, and he may just need another day or two. I'm tough, and I can handle this. What's another few hours compared to the knowledge that I will be holding my baby in my arms any day now? That I get to bring him home and he is mine forever? That's a really comforting thought.

Good things come to those who wait.

And you never know, I very well could be called tomorrow morning, and I will have him here by the evening! That's a really exciting thought!

I'm most excited for Savannah to meet her brother. Today, I thought a lot about how our family will change. How I felt a little guilty that Savannah won't be an only child anymore, and how I won't be able to giver her as much attention as I have been able too. But this evening, we went to the park for a bit to spend some time together as a family, and my little social butterfly had a whole posse of kids following her around. She was showing the younger kids how to climb and go down the stairs, often yelling "hold on!" or "I'm coming, I help you!" and she was holding hands with the older kids and giving them hugs. That's when I realized that she is going to be just fine. That if I had decided to not have any more kids, it would have been selfish of me. That she needs the companionship and forever friend that only a sibling can provide. She needs other kids around her. She needs them to let her best personality trait, her love for others, shine through and be used. 

The moment I've been dreaming of these last 9 looooong months isn't the moment where I hold my son for the first time, it's the moment where he meets his big sister for the first time. I really hope I get to experience that tomorrow. It will be one of the greatest moments of my entire life. 

So, I've got my toes right on the finish line, and I could use all the good thoughts and prayers I can get to help me put my foot over it tomorrow.

Good night everyone, and wish me luck!