My happy life

Today, despite this cold that's still hanging around, I needed to go get my car registered and the oil changed. Maybe it's just me, but every time I go alone to any place to get my oil changed, they always try to tell me I need about a million and 1 things for my car, that I don't in fact actually need. But I've found that when I bring Bryant or my dad along, they don't badger me as much. So since Bryant had to work today, I asked my dad to come along.

Anyways, as we were being rung up for the oil change, the guy was trying to upsell us on the best quality stuff, and a few other items. Like 26 dollar windshield wipers and such. I actually do need windshield wipers, but I'll buy the 15 dollar ones from walmart thank-you-very-much.

When I told him no-thanks, he tried to talk the price down 6 dollars. I still said no. When he tried to convince us to buy the most expensive oil, my dad said "It's alright, she's trading her car in next month, so just the conventional oil is fine." 

This is partly true. I am planning on trading in one of our cars sometime in the near future to get something bigger for our growing family, like (gulp!) a minivan. But not next month. My dad just said that to get the guy off our backs (smart thinking dad!)

Anyways, as we were walking out, the guy asked what kind of car I wanted to trade in for. I told him a minivan (I NEVER thought I'd ever actually want a minivan in my life. Now look at me!) because I needed more space for my kids. When he asked how many kids I had, I told him 2.

That felt really weird. It felt weird to say that I have two kids. TWO KIDS! I am a mom to two littles. 

The other night, my parents babysat for us while Bryant and I saw a movie, and afterwords, I said to Bryant "I hope our kids were ok for my parents". Kids. Plural. That's when I first realized how weird it was to say. 

I never really imagined that this is where my life would be. A life where I went and spent 75 dollars on diapers. A life where I cornered a lady at costco asking her where she got her double stroller from. A life where I was peering into a mini van in a parking lot because I wanted to see if it was something I would be interested in buying. A life where I would even want a mini van! A life where I sometimes sneak handfuls of my toddler's snacks during church because I didn't eat breakfast. A life where I purposely bought a smudge-proof refrigerator, and wouldn't you know it, it still has smudgy little hand prints on it from a certain 2 year old who thinks she's a pirate pixie.

I also never imagined that I would be this happy. Even though it's 11:30pm, and I just made myself pancakes for dinner, and I have spit-up all over my shirt, and my daughter just barely went to bed after telling me that she needed a "space rocket" right. this. second. And asked me to sing the "choo choo train song" for the millionth time. And even though I am so tired. And I still have a cold, but I'm not allowed sick-days in bed watching re-runs of Law and Order all day anymore. 

I am so, so happy. Because I have a little girl who wants to be a pirate and who believes in

pixie dust and that she can fly in a rocket ship. And I have a little boy who is so content to just be held in my arms all day and who is beginning to give me little half smiles and stares at me with his big beautiful blue eyes, and he gives me that concerned look that makes me think that he just wants to tell me something so badly.

I have two beautiful kids. And I am one lucky mama. 

 

Strawberry Days

Bryant and I both got completely blindsided by an awful summer cold this week. We both thought that we just had really terrible allergies, but then yesterday morning, we both were starting to feel achy and our symptoms got worse, and we both got terrible dry coughs on top of our allergy sneezes. Last night was miserable. I can't take any medication because I'm breastfeeding, and Bryant is one of those weirdies that "don't believe in medication". It almost makes me mad, here he is completely able to take some dayquil, when I can't, and yet he refuses. Gosh, what I wouldn't give for some cough syrup with some codeine in it...

Anyways, we spent all morning in bed with Savannah crawling all over us and Deagan being extra fussy because I'm trying to keep holding him to a minimum because I don't want to make him sick, and he's a cuddle bug who wants to be constantly held. And I was sucking down a vanilla coke at 8am, because I'm a sickie who can't take anything, so why not?

(Hanging out in bed all morning)

But then DJ spit up ALL OVER my side of the bed. Then, because we've been putting Vaseline in his diaper all week, his diapers don't absorb when he pees, so sometimes that leaks everywhere, like ALSO ON MY BED.

So we were forced to get up and out of bed so I could wash the sheets. Now Bryant is watching soccer, and I decided that I might as well catch up on my blog. You know, since it's 2:00 and I haven't even showered, or gotten my kids dressed for the day, and blogging seemed to take priority.

My town holds a week long celebration called Strawberry Days. Kind of like how some towns have founder's day festivals. All week long they have different events all over the town, the climax of which is the parade on Saturday. This year, because I have a tiny baby who I don't feel super confident about dragging around when I also have a toddler to chase, and no double stroller to stick them both in, we pretty much missed all of the activities.We did leave the baby with grandma and grandpa while we took a half hour to run down to the carnival to grab some strawberries and cream. When we were pulling up to the carnival, Savannah said "Oh wow! It's Disneyland!" (I can't wait to take her to the real Disneyland!) While we were there, we decided to buy some tickets and take her on a few rides. We did the carousel, the little car things, and Bryant even took her down the giant slide. I thought that would really scare her, but as soon as she got off, she asked to do it again. She got her thrill-seeking from her dad. I could barely handle the carousel without getting motion sickness!

 

 (When the guy working the ride when to help her out, she yelled "no stop! I go again!)

Saturday, we decided to go watch the parade.

We left Deagan with my dad and we took Savannah. We found a nice shady spot right downtown and had fun watching the parade. We saw 3 different pirate-themes floats, which means Savannah was in heaven, since she's been obsessed with Peter Pan lately. "Mom wook! It's Cap-pan hoo! Arrrgh matey!" Oh the cuteness of it all, I couldn't handle it!

Bryant ended up having to leave in the middle of it to get to work, so It was just me and Savannah. But after he left, she made a friend with another little girl and they ran around picking weeds and trying to make them stick onto a wall. Then they tried to feed them to an English Mastiff that was taller than them!

 (New hair cut and color! Thanks Kenna!)

After the parade, Savannah and I went to Taco Amigo for some strawberry shakes, because Strawberry days is not complete without a trip to Taco Amigo. Also, because ice cream was the only thing I could swallow with my sore throat...

I can't wait until this weekend, we leave for Mt. Shasta and we will be spending the 4th of July there, and blessing Deagan. They may not have a Taco Amigo, but the 4th of July in Mt. Shasta is my favorite!!!

(And here's a photo of Deagan, just because he's adorable.)

A Day at the Doctors

I have been dreading today for 2 weeks.

Today was the day I took Savy and DJ into the pediatrician.

Deagan had his first, 2 week checkup, PKU test, and well...ahem... another thing (I cried a bit, he didn't, and I couldn't watch. That's all I'm going to say about that...)

Savannah missed her 2 year check-up because I was still dealing with her insurance (it took me over 6 months to get sorted out! Geeze!) and I had to cancel her appointment
I had made around her birthday. When I finally got her card, I was so close to having the baby, I decided I would just make an appointment for the both of them. She was behind 4 immunizations, so we did 3 today, and we will do the last one at DJ's next appointment. Then no more immunizations for her until kindergarten! Hooray!!!

I am the luckiest mom alive. My kids are super healthy, and Savannah always has been. Seriously, the blessing of having healthy kids is not lost on me. I'm grateful every day for that fact.

So, onto their stats! I always like writing these on this blog because I tend to lose the little papers they give me...

Savannah:

She is 2 years and 2 1/2 months old

She is 26lbs 8.5oz (36%)

She is 36 inches long (81%)

And her head is 48.5cm (68%)

The nurse measured her and left the room to go enter in all her stats. She came back in, and said she needed to re-measure the markings she made on the paper, because the computer was showing that she was in the 80-90th percentile, and she felt that seemed a bit too tall. She left again, then came back in 5 minutes later and asked to just re-measure Savannah all over again. And well, she's just plain tall. And very thin. With a slightly big head.

Savannah did really well. She was excited to see the doctor and as soon as he walked in she said "you check my ears? My eyes? My tummy?". She apparently remembered the doctor, because all this past week, she was running around with our thermometer and checking DJ's temperature for him, telling me she was "doing a check-up". When the doctor looked in her ears, she said "I have pixie dust in my ear". Then pretended to take some out, and threw it at the doctor, then the nurse yelling "pixie dust awaaaaayyyy!"

The doctor said he was very impressed with her language, and loved her energy and personality. My only concern I brought up with him was how picky she is when she eats, and how little she eats most days. He told me not to worry, and that if she was just a grazer, that that was fine and that she would know what her body needs. That made me feel a whole lot better. 

She was a champ about getting 3 shots today. Her daddy held her hand and she cried a bit, and then just snuggled her dad for the rest of the appointment. She was pretty excited about her band-aids though and she was showing them off to her grandparents when we got home.

Deagan:

He is 2 weeks old

He weighs 8lbs, 15.5 oz (59% and just half an ounce below birth weight!)

He is 21.75 inches long (85%)

His head is 35.5cm (21%)

So when we left the hospital, he was down to 8lbs 8oz, and he has gained a half pound to be back at his birth weight, and he grew over 3 inches! Sheesh kid! Stop growing so fast!

He did really great too. My poor little mama heart had a tough time with all he had to go through today, but he dealt with it all like a champ. At first, I didn't even think I could handle being in the room with him, but once we were in there, I thought "nope, I'm staying and I'm holding his hand because I'm his Mom!" So I sat there holding his hand, and keeping my eyes on his the whole time. He didn't even cry! What a stud! (well, he cried for just a sec when they did his PKU testing.)

I was really sad to hear that our pediatrician is retiring. He got a mission call to Chile. When I heard that, all I could think was "But... but... you have to stay! You're the best pediatrician!" He recommended a new pediatrician for us, who is in the same office. I trust his judgement, so I made DJ's next appointment with the new doctor. I am really happy for our doctor. The people in Chile are getting a really nice and considerate man down there! I like him because I never feel rushed through our appointment, like I have with other doctors. He really takes the time to listen to all of your questions and concerns, and always gives good advice, and he knows how to keep kids happy and not worried. He will be missed by the Stokes Family!

Anyways, I'm just glad today is over. Savannah said her legs hurt a little bit tonight, so she snuggled up with her grandma and we put a heating pad on her legs. Deagan has been exhausted and has been asleep almost the entire day, which I'm grateful for. I think tomorrow will be a little rough, but he will be ok. 

Again, I'm just so thankful for healthy kids!!!

One Week

Yesterday marked 1 week since I had my little boy!

This makes me really sad. Life was going in double time with Savannah, and now triple time with the 2 of them!

Our first week home was perfect. We got home Wednesday and Bryant stayed home from work. On Thursday, we took little Deagan to get his billiruben levels tested because he is jaundiced. They had gone up from an 11 to a 15.5. When we got home, my dad was cleaning up Savannah who had just thrown up all over the couch. I felt so bad. For my dad, and for my little princess. Bryant didn't want to go to work and leave me with a new baby and a sick toddler, but I told him to go because I had my dad there and my mom was getting off work a little early to come spend the day with me. When my mom arrived, she snuggled Savannah all afternoon while my dad did some yard work for me.

(I hate when she's sick! I feel so bad!)

Friday, my dad came back over so I could take DJ back to the hospital to be tested again. His levels went up again, but only to a 15.8, which wasn't a significant jump, and the nurse said that where he is having regular diapers and is eating well, that he didn't need to come back in again (hallelujah!) 

Saturday was my first day all on my own with both kids, and it went a lot smoother than I expected. Savannah was back to feeling 100% and I was feeling much better too. But we still just spent the day being lazy and watching a lot of TV and reading lots of books. That night, I left Bryant alone with the kids and took my sister out to dinner and to do some shopping. It was so nice getting out for a bit.

Sunday was our laziest day. Bryant took Savannah to church and I stayed home with DJ. When they got home, DJ and I continued to stay in bed almost the entire day. 

Today, I made it a goal to get back to life as usual, which means I get to catch up on all the cleaning that I didn't bother to do this past week. But I didn't get very far. I did 1 load of dishes and 2 loads of laundry, and I cleaned the living room about 10 times, but it never ever stays clean. Ever... And I went to the grocery store.

Deagan has been such an easy baby, just like his sister was. I'm so lucky to have easy-going babies! He sleeps really well, usually giving us 3-4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. He sleeps worse if he's alone in his bassinet, so he usually ends up next to me for most of the night. Savannah co-slept for 6 months, I don't plan on allowing Deagan to go that long.

He eats like a champ! (and a little piggy) Savannah and I spent many a long day and night fighting over breastfeeding. It took us a long time to get the hang of it. Part of it was her jaundice was so bad that eating exhausted her, and I was constantly trying to keep her awake, and because of that, my milk supply was very low, and it took a lot longer to come in. With DJ, he took to it like a pro and eats really well. During the day, he eats about every hour and a half, and at night, he can go up to 4 hours between meals. I'll be interested to see how much weight he's gained when we go to his doctors appointment next week.

Savannah isn't sure how to handle a baby brother yet. She really loves him, but she's also not happy that he takes up some of the attention from her. She always worries about him when he cries. She will come and rub his arms and legs, and say "don't worry baby, don't worry". She also thinks his pacifier is pretty cool, and is constantly trying to shove it in his mouth while saying "open mouth baby! Say ahhhhh". The first thing she asked yesterday morning when Bryant got her out of her crib was if she could hold the baby. I have to keep an eye on her because I've found him with stickers all over his head, and Savannah's "pixie dust" around his neck (A.K.A a carrot shaped necklace with bubbles in it she got for Easter. She's a little obsessed with all things Peter Pan these days. Pirates, Tinker Bell, that show Jake and the Neverland Pirates, you name it!)

On the other hand, if I'm feeding him, she will tell me to put him down and throws a fit if I don't. Today, she kept asking me to put him down and go play with her in her room. She never asks me to come play in her room. In fact, she usually shuts the door and won't let me in her room, like some teenage girl.

I knew there would be a bit of jealousy, but I don't think it's going to be a problem at all. It will take a little while for life to balance out and for us to get a new routine. Pretty soon she will realize that the baby is someone who will always be around and she will get used to him. She will especially love him when she can play with him.

I'm feeling really great too. My recovery for this baby was so much faster than with Savannah. I'm at about 98% right now. My back is still a little sore, and I feel like the muscles in my stomach and legs feel weird now that they are adjusting from suddenly not having to carry around a 9lb bowling ball all day, every day. It's amazing how good I feel now that I'm not pregnant. Things are so much easier. I can breath easier, I have no heartburn, no charlie horses, no cramps in my hips (weirdest. feeling. ever) I sleep more comfortably, which, even though I'm still getting up a few times a night, just being able to rest well when I DO sleep makes a huge difference! I went out for a short walk and was just amazed at how easy it was! My whole body didn't hurt with each step. I can't wait until I get the OK to start exercising. Even though I hate exercising more than pretty much everything else on this planet, I'll just be happy that I can get out and move again!

Anyways, It's late, both my babies are asleep and I should be too.
Goodnight world.

Welcome to the World Baby Deagan!

After 40 long weeks, our baby boy is finally here!

We are so happy and so excited, and so completely in love with him!

Introducing Deagan Jacob!

(I've had a few people ask, it's pronounced "Dee-gan")

Born June 3rd, 2013 at 1:03pm

9lbs, 18 1/2 inches

No wonder I was so uncomfortable these last few weeks, I was carrying around a linebacker!

The whole day was a whirlwind, it flew by so fast that my head is still spinning. On Sunday, I was told I was 5th in line for inductions, which left me anxious and worried that I wouldn't even get in. I hardly slept at all that night. I was anxious, frustrated, and worried. Plus, I was dying of heat. I think I only got about 2 solid hours of sleep. But I woke up at 6am and waited for the hospital to call me. At 7, I walked out of my room and at 7:05 I walked back in and saw that I had a voicemail from the hospital asking me to call them back. So I did and the nurse said "My name is so-and-so, how soon can you be here for an induction?"

(My last pregnancy photo. Taken right before I left for the hospital. 40 weeks, and 2 days)

I was in shock! I was NOT expecting to be called in that early. Apparently, they originally weren't going to be able to get me in that morning, but a few girls called in and cancelled their inductions, so I moved up the list! (Just a side note: they performed 10 inductions the same day! That's not including scheduled C-sections and those who came in from going naturally into labor! It was a busy, busy day for the nurses!)

 (his poor nose and a little bit around his mouth was bruised)

I told her to give me 45 minutes to an hour to give me and Bryant time to get ready, and get Savannah up and ready, and drop her off at my parents house. I was so nervous, that I tried to eat a rice crispy treat in the car so I wouldn't have an empty stomach, and I think I could only get 3 bites down. So we dropped Savy off and rushed to the hospital.

(Bryant got to catch a quick nap while I was in labor. Not fair...)

We checked in, and the nurse got me all situated in the delivery room around 8:00am. Around 9, she got me hooked up to some fluids, some antibiotics, and the pitocin to get my contractions going. She asked me if I wanted the epidural then, or if I wanted to wait. I told her I would wait until the contractions got good and going.

Once my contractions started, the nurse came in to turn the pitocin down, because I was contracting really fast (I did that with Savannah too, I just react to pitocin really well I guess.) And I asked her when she would recommend that I get the epidural. She told me that she had already put me on the list because it was filling up and she didn't want me to be at the end of it and really uncomfortable. She asked how long my first labor was, and I told her it was about 7 hours. I asked her if inducing made your labor longer (like SO MANY people tried to scare me into thinking...) and she said "oh no, if this is your 2nd baby, cut your first labor time in half and that is how long you will take this time." I didn't believe her because that would mean I would have a 3 1/2 hour labor, which just seemed way too fast to me.

Just then, the doctor came in and broke my water, and he said that should really get my contractions started, which would help me dilate.

I was grateful she put me on the list for the epidural because not 10 minutes later, the contractions started to hurt and in walked the epidural guy. It was perfect timing! So we got that started and I started to go numb and I felt comfortable and sleepy, (and itchy! I had lots of people tell me pitocin made them itch, and it really does!). The nurse checked me and I was almost at a 4. So Bryant laid down on the couch and snoozed and I settled in and watched an episode of "Arrested Development" and relaxed, thinking I had several hours ahead of me. The nurse left and told me to page her if I needed anything, and that she would check on me from time to time.

Well, within an hour I started to feel really low, intense pains during each contraction. Like, I couldn't talk through them, except for when I told Bryant to shut up when he was asking me a million questions and I couldn't answer them because I was hurting (I'm mean when I'm in pain...) I was worried that the epidural wasn't working anymore, so I paged the nurse and said my contractions were really painful and if there was any way we could check the epidural. She came in and asked if it felt like I needed to push, and I told her it was low intense pain, but that it had to still be too early to push. She said "If it was just contractions, the epidural would help, but I think you're about to have this baby". So she checked me, and his head was literally RIGHT THERE. I mean, he had done all the work and I was at that last stage before he was born. So she rushed out to grab the doctor and the nurses, and they got everything all set up within seconds.

I think I pushed for about 7-8 minutes total! After the first push, the doctor said I could touch his head if I wanted, he was that close (I didn't, I don't know why, but that sounded gross.) Then the nurse started to giggle and told me that if his head was any indication to how big he would be, that he was going to be at least 8 1/2 pounds. Again, I didn't believe her. She also told me that she hoped I wasn't expecting hair, because he was pretty bald.

So after a few quick, intense pushes, Deagan came into the world! After only 4 hours of labor, only 1 hour of that with an epidural, and less than 10 minutes of pushing! All the nurses started giggling about how cute his rolls were, and how chubby he was. They immediately started taking bets to see how big he was. One nurse got it right, 9lbs even! I was completely shocked when they told me that! I knew he was big, and I knew he was measuring ahead of where Savannah was, and she was 7 and a half, so I thought he would be 8lbs at the MOST. Nope, this baby was a cannonball! One of the nurses said she rarely sees someone my size give birth to a baby that big, and that my hips must be nice and roomy (uh, gee, thanks?) . She also told me that If I ever planned to induce again, to go a week early, because most of your subsequent babies just get bigger each time (yikes!) He is pretty short though. They said 9lb babies average about 21-22 inches, and he was 18 1/2. Savannah was like that too though, chubby and short. Because he was LGA (large for gestational age) they had to check his blood sugar levels every so often. They were always perfect, so he had no issues. He's just a tank.

After they got him weighed and all that, they gave him to me again and he immediately started rooting. So they all left and I began nursing him. He ate for almost an hour! Apparently, 9lbs of fat rolls require a lot of calories to maintain! After an hour, the nurse came back in to check on us, and told me I could order lunch and just eat it there before they sent me down to the mother's room and took him off for a bath and testing. So we got another full hour of just snuggling and bonding with him.

We are so unbelievably excited and relieved to have him here, and I'm very grateful that I have had 2 easy labor and deliveries so far. Really, other than those last 10 minutes, the whole process was relatively pain free. Even my recovery is going well! With Savannah, it took me a couple of weeks to feel fully 100% again. With this recovery, my back is a little sore from where they had the epidural, and that's about it. Nothing a little tylenol can't fix.

It took us a full day to finally decide on a name. We've had Deagan on our minds for a while now, but we wanted to make sure it was perfect. That night, and all the next morning, we had written a list of our top 10 names, and we slowly crossed them all off one by one. None of them felt "right" except for Deagan Jacob, and I love it!

So far, he is a really mellow baby, just like his sister was. He only cries when he's hungry, which is a lot. He took to breastfeeding a lot faster than his sister. I was feeding him 5 minutes after his was born. With Savy, we didn't really get the hang of it for a long time.

He's got a little bit of jaundice like his sister did too. We go in tomorrow to test again, but I'm pretty confident it won't be as bad as Savannah's was, because he's eating a lot better and has more consistent diapers than she did. We are just keeping all the windows open to give him lots of natural sunlight today to help.

Savannah loves him! As soon as she saw him, she said "oh cute baby!" and is very good about being gentle with him. She loves to hold him, touch his cheeks, his hands, and his hair. (Even though he's pretty bald, he has more hair than Savannah did haha! And it's very, very dark.) She likes to be a helper too. I had just a small bottle for him at the hospital (he was eating so often, I was in a lot of pain, I needed a break for a couple of feedings) and she was very good at helping to feed him. Once he was done and sound asleep, she kept trying to shove it in his mouth. We will have to work on that. She also thinks his name should be Gus, and got in an argument with Bryant about it. It was hilarious!

I'm so grateful for nurses and doctors. My nurses this time were amazing! The main nurse helping me made me feel so comfortable and so much less anxious than I had been coming in. She must have known I was a little scared because she just sat in the room and chatted with me for the first hour, until they got a little more busy and she had to help in other rooms, and if you know me, I'm pretty chatty, but I get more chatty when I'm nervous, so it was comforting to have her there to distract me.

I'm very grateful to have had such a healthy pregnancy. Even though I was uncomfortable and complained a lot, in hindsight, both my pregnancies have been very manageable, easy, and problem free. Which is a rare thing. I can only hope and pray that my other pregnancies will be the same. (And yes, we fully plan on more kids. But we think we want to wait a little longer between this one and the next. At least until Savannah is in school, and I'm done with school.)

And I am very grateful to Bryant. He is a great labor coach and he takes a lot of pride in his kids. He is an amazing daddy and he makes me feel like superwoman, and he is proud of me and loves me unconditionally. He praises me for my role as wife and mother, which makes me feel extra special.

I love him, I love Savannah, and I love Deagan.
Being a mom is pretty darn awesome!

At the finish line

Well, here we are. At the very last few hours before we become a family of 4!

I feel like I've been standing at this finish line for 3 weeks, just waiting for the ok to cross. And tomorrow may finally be that day!

I got the call I've been waiting for all weekend from the hospital. I was expecting them to give me a specific time to come in for my induction. I was really hoping they would have me come in bright and early, so that I would have him by the afternoon, or have me come in late at night so I could sleep during most of it. 

But instead, they told me that I'm on a list of "on call" patients. And one of my friends mentioned that she was 1st on the list with her baby and didn't get in for 2 days. When I heard that, I was devastated. I kind of had an anxiety attack/emotional meltdown. I have been looking forward to tomorrow for the last week and a half, and the possibility that I may have to wait another day or two threw me for a loop. 

Bryant tried to comfort me, and I told him to leave me alone and give me a few minutes. After I had settled down, we went for a drive and grabbed a bite to eat, just the 2 of us. We talked over some more baby names, we are still not 100% sure on one. And he told me not to worry. That I've made it this far, and our son will be here when he is meant to be here, and I felt a lot better.

Afterwords, I called my parents and asked them to come over. I had my dad and Bryant give me another blessing. I'm really feeling a lot better now. I'm still a little stressed about the possibility that my induction may not happen tomorrow, but I am trying to remember that there is a bigger plan out there, and he may just need another day or two. I'm tough, and I can handle this. What's another few hours compared to the knowledge that I will be holding my baby in my arms any day now? That I get to bring him home and he is mine forever? That's a really comforting thought.

Good things come to those who wait.

And you never know, I very well could be called tomorrow morning, and I will have him here by the evening! That's a really exciting thought!

I'm most excited for Savannah to meet her brother. Today, I thought a lot about how our family will change. How I felt a little guilty that Savannah won't be an only child anymore, and how I won't be able to giver her as much attention as I have been able too. But this evening, we went to the park for a bit to spend some time together as a family, and my little social butterfly had a whole posse of kids following her around. She was showing the younger kids how to climb and go down the stairs, often yelling "hold on!" or "I'm coming, I help you!" and she was holding hands with the older kids and giving them hugs. That's when I realized that she is going to be just fine. That if I had decided to not have any more kids, it would have been selfish of me. That she needs the companionship and forever friend that only a sibling can provide. She needs other kids around her. She needs them to let her best personality trait, her love for others, shine through and be used. 

The moment I've been dreaming of these last 9 looooong months isn't the moment where I hold my son for the first time, it's the moment where he meets his big sister for the first time. I really hope I get to experience that tomorrow. It will be one of the greatest moments of my entire life. 

So, I've got my toes right on the finish line, and I could use all the good thoughts and prayers I can get to help me put my foot over it tomorrow.

Good night everyone, and wish me luck!