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Monday, January 18, 2010

One tough weekend.

This whole weekend was pretty tough. Saturday I had to work all night, and I hate closing, especially on a Saturday night. Not to mention, literally 5 minutes before we closed I had a customer come up and say "I have ten books I need for class ASAP". So I looked them ALL up on the computer, wrote down where they ALL were, dragged her around the ENTIRE store to get them all for her. After I help her, I do a walk through of the store to gather up all the books people leave on tables and on the floor, and I get a call from a manager that the last customer to leave left a pile in the cafe. So I head over and what do I find??? ALL ten of the books that I had just grabbed for the customer next to a pile of about 30 magazines. That, in my opinion is probably the rudest thing you can do in any retail store. If she just wanted to know if we carried them, she could have told me and I wouln't have had to go find them all for her, just to turn around and put them back. Grrrr....

So that kind of put me in my weekend-bad-mood-funk.

Sunday, however, was the worst. I was still groggy and irritated and I really didn't want to go teach my primary class. Bryant is the best though and he offered to go so I could stay at home, but that just isn't fair to him, plus, I really like church, just not my ward. So we go, and as soon as we walk in the kids are hitting, punching, biting, pushing, and yelling and nothing in the world can make them stop, no amount of threatening, begging or bribing can get them to calm down.

As we leave the primary room, a lady hands me a paper that says something along the lines of "this is what you missed in relief society this week cause you never get to come" (ok, ok so it doesn't really say that, but thats what it made me think of...) and she says "how's is going sister Francom?"

I can't even begin to tell you how much this irritates me. Apparently just before we moved in, another new couple moved in and got thrown in primary named the Francoms. So now, every new couple in Primary is now "the francoms". Thankfully, it's not just us no one cares to get to know. It doesn't make me feel like such a loser. But come on people, we have been here 8 months! You see us every week, and every week, we tell you our last name is Stokes.

Class was just as bad, we handed out brownies and watched a cartoon movie of the 2000 stripline warriors. The first thing Gabe does with his brownie? He sets in on the floor and steps on it, then asks for another one.... I was ready to smash one in his face.

Once again, I wake up this morning feeling really crappy and still in my bad-mood-funk. My apartment was a disaster, so I set to work getting it in shape. I was about to just sit down and be grumpy over just about anything, when a message on my ipod popped up saying that I had a message from my friend Tyler Robbins mom Valinda. She is amazing, I have known her for ages and she sent me the best advice. She told me that she understands that it's hard to make friends in a ward where we don't get a chance to meet anyone, but that she was sure the bishop (who, by the way, we have only met once and had a 3 second conversation with) appreciated that we had taken the calling. She also said that she had to teach primay for many years and that there were a few times that she basically had to tell the parents of some kids that they were not welcome to come to primary unless they could get them under control first. She also told me not to take any crap from the kids, that if they are acting up and won't stop, to just take them straight to their parents. I always thought that was a little mean, but she said that my calling is to teach them, not to babysit them, and that it's not fair to the other kids if I have to spend all my time taking care of one instead of teaching all of them.

Her note really cheered me up and I was happy to learn that I'm not the only one who has problems with primary. I think the real problem was that I was upset that Bryant and I are not really a part of the ward. I signed up for vollyball and he signed up for basketball, neither of us got any info on games or anything. We both go to all the ward parties and activities, not one person says hello to us, and we end up wandering around until I pretty much just want to cry.

Bryant is the best at cheering me up though. Every night this past weekend, he gets me a bowl of ice cream or a glass of coke and we sit down and watch my (new) favorite show Dexter. He is also really good at being calm and helps me see the logical side of things when i'm upset and not thinking straight. He even helped me finish cleaning up the kitchen. What a good sport.

So thank you Valida, for thinking of me and giving me the support and advice I needed.
Thank you Bryant for always putting up with me and listening to me, and loving me and being the best husband in the entire world! I definitly don't deserve you, but I'm so glad you found me and are willing to deal with me for eternity :) haha.
And thank you Dexter, for keeping me entertained when I need time to relax and unwind, and for being available on Netflix.

3 comments:

  1. Awww that weekend sound so crappy! I can' beleive the person left ten books on the table after you fetched them all! What a jerk! I'm so sorry about your ward.. there is nothing worse than a mean ward. I swear wards ouside of Utah are way friendlier. Which doesn't make much sense but i think it's kinda true. It sounds like you have a good husband. I'm glad he is there for you. Someday when I move back to Utah we will be married couple friends... and that will be good.

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  2. I know how you feel but I wouldn't take it out on the people in your ward... There are a lot of people coming and going all the time and it is extremely hard to keep it all straight. And I don't want you to feel like I am picking your post apart because I am totally not but I have a uncle that is a bishop and I don't think people actually realize what bishops actually do behind the scenes. It is insane. My uncle goes out of town Monday through Friday for work and then comes home and spends his whole Saturday making sure he has everything in place for Sunday and it usually takes him all day (plus his family needs attention too) and then on Sunday there are three thousand people pulling him so many ways. I know that Bishops in General all want to help as much as they can and they are constantly thinking about and praying for everyone in the ward more than we can possibly know. I remember my mom telling me about how my unncle came to her having an emotional breakdown because he was being stretched to his limits and was doing all he physically could do and everyone was still disappointed and he thought he wasn;t evough, you have to realize that they didn't choose the calling but there is some reason why Heavenly Father called them and I don't know about you but I would never feel good about second guessing the choices that Heavenly Father makes... you sometimes have to be the one to reach out to others instead of expecting everyone to come to you. Maybe there is someone feeling just like you that wants a friend. The best way to have a friend is to be a friend.

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  3. To Anonymous,

    As i read the weekend of Mrs Stokes and then the two comments left i really was taken back by what you had to say. I would have to agree with what Rachael said about wards in utah. For some reason some wards in Utah just seem to remind me of high school. people go there not just to learn but to work on their social station and show everyone else how well off they are. they have there own group of friends and any one new is just passing through. As for Bishops, i know how hard the calling is. i know what they go through and i do not doubt that Mrs. Stokes bishop is doing his best and i agree that its a calling not just for him to serve the people of his ward but also for him to grow. And from what i can see Mrs Stokes didnt "question" anything about the calling given to her bishop. i would hope your not saying that phrase in a condecending way...Coming from a ward were visitors are made to feel welcome and new members are welcomed into all social groups and its a point made to invite them to all events put on by the wards i think that that makes people who are in a new place feel more at home which is what a ward shold always feel like. i know its hard to keep track of everything going on in a ward and i know that the church is what is perfect not the people who go there but i think sometimes members need to remember why they are there.

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