Happy Thoughts

It's been so long since I've sat down to write a post. 

It gets tougher and tougher as the end of the semester approaches, but I thought I'd just type something up to let everyone know I'm still around.

Lately, I've been feeling a little down. I usually do about this time of the year. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE fall and the excitement of the holidays drawing near, but I'm an "outdoorsy" kind of person. I love fresh air, warm breezes, and lots and lots of sunshine! But this time of year I get cabin fever. The days seem so short. By 7:00 I feel like I should be getting ready for bed, not heading to work. It gets too cold to spend out on the lawn reading or soaking up some sun. I think the biggest problem is that I'm indoors a LOT these days and I live in such a small apartment, that it's really like being confined to a single room for hours, sometimes days on end. I purposefully "forget" to get something at the grocery store, just so I have a reason to go back the next day, just to get out for a bit. I actually get excited to go to work because it's a change of scenery. 

So you can imagine how cramped I've been feeling. And then on top of that, Bryant's been so ridiculously busy between school, work, coaching, and homework that we only get a few waking hours together so I've been feeling very lonely too. 

Isolation, shorter, colder days and loneliness are ingredients for a depression cocktail.

I was feeling so down that it was affecting Bryant and Savannah. I found myself lying in bed all day. Taking 4-5 hour naps while Bryant juggled homework and a busy baby. I hated the way I was feeling and I could tell that Bryant was doing everything to make me happy, and when I wasn't getting any better, he began to worry.

Finally, he broke my heart when he said "nothing I do makes you happy these days".

Because that wasn't true. He makes me so happy every single day of my life that I don't know what I would do without him. He takes such good care of me, and I'm always his number 1 priority. I felt bad that my misery was affecting him. Especially since I really didn't have much to complain about.

So I decided that I was going to turn that frown upside down! I decided to make a list of things that made me happy. Over the course of the last 3 days, every time something made me happy, I wrote it on a list on my phone. I think I came up with a pretty good list:

Sticky fingerprints on my mirror (from Savannah. She just loves that baby in the mirror!)

Good music

How good I felt after my morning run

Leftover Chinese take-out

My gray peep-toe, ankle boots

Meatballs

How long my hair is getting

Going to a movie with just my Mom and sister

Cuddling up with Bryant (who never minds that I stick my feet under his legs to keep them warm)

Discussing Dante's "Inferno" with Bryant

Discussing what we thought heaven will be like

Discussing what TV shows God would like to watch (Bryant believes God would like to watch Sports Center, I think he would like the discovery channel... everyone loves Shark Week...)

Basically just having any type of discussion with Bryant.

Space-heaters

Cooking

Savannah's "old man face" she makes

My dad's artwork

chocolate oranges

Watching Savannah tease Bryant

There was a whole lot more to the list. This is just a small sampling. I think it really helped me realize how much happiness I have in my life. I had to realize that I couldn't let myself become a Debbie-Downer over little things that didn't matter, and then let that ruin all the good things in my life. 

How can I be sad when I have this cute little face to love and kiss?

 

She was eye-ing my spaghetti and meatballs

 

And was getting mad when I wasn't sharing...

...So she gave me her "old man look" until I gave her a bite!